Rollercoaster Ruby

Against my better judgement (actually, I don't think my judgement can be qualified as better, or worse. It's pretty dodgy most of the time) I gave my phone number to Ruby. On Saturday she wrote, correction - she sent emoticons and photos. We are still working on her writing skills. She emoticoned, phoned and emoticoned again, several times. She had been ditched by the guy she had planned to meet on Friday evening.
    I took pity on her and invited her out for coffee and cake this afternoon in St. Windy. By the time I arrived at the station to pick her up, she had already sent me an invitation to her wedding, with her long-suffering ex-boyfriend.
    This was no surprise to me, and we chatted happily about her wedding plans. She told me that her husband-to-be had invited the guy who dumped her to the wedding. "I'll smash his face in when I see him!", I said. "No, no, don't!" she begged. "Okay, I'll sit behind him in the church and spit on his head". "No, no! If you do, I won't invite you." Good to know where her priorities lie, but this is par for the course - the roller coaster ride which is Ruby.
    Ruby is on a mission to find me a husband. The fact that I don't want one is immaterial. The fact that the average age of the men she picks out for me is around 25, is also irrelevant. She always decides that they are too old for me, anyway.
    After our coffee and cake we went for a short walk around the town, with Ruby pleading:  "Slow DOWN!", as I strode along at my usual pace.
    She spied two young men, walking towards us. "They look right for you. I'll say 'Hello' to them". "No you bloody wo' ...", I started to protest but, too late. She gave them a friendly wave and called out to them. They ignored her, to my relief.
As if that wasn't bad enough, she noticed a man standing alone outside the café which we had left a short while before.
"HE looks nice!"
"If you say 'Hello' to him, I shall cancel our lessons for ever!", I warned.
"Helloooo", she called out as we passed by. I had a fit of the giggles.
    Once back in the car, I said to her, "Actually, he was rather attractive. I'll wind down the window and shout out to him as we drive by. I'll ask him what his name is."
"Nooooooo!", wailed Ruby. "Don't you dare!"
He was no longer there. I guess we might have scared him off.  Never mind, he would most likely have been way too old for me!